I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
