ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
a search helicopter?!
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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