PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
