Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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