I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
