So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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