is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
