Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I supernannyed him into submission
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize