I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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