so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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