I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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