if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
COCAINE IS GR8
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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