Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
