I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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