Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
