I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
