Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
