I just made out with a guy for $7.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
