Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize