Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
