My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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