people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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