Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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