No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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