just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
false alarm, still single
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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