Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
