shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
