Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
