She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize