It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
