So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
