if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
