Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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