Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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