so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
