i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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