I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
