I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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