Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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