I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
