he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
