I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize