All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
