I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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