You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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