I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
