I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
