I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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