So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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