exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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