So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
