thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
