loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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