We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You are a genius and a whore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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