You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
