Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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