im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
