OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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