I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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