Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
